Do you feel like you are continually waiting for a miracle so that you don’t have to work so hard on yourself?

There is such an abundance of self help books, workshops, seminars and programs that support us in raising our consciousness to foster transformation, and what a gift they are. However, I see lots of folks who seem to actually become addicted to this avenue of learning; always hoping for the next one to be “the answer.”

I’m here to tell you that you have everything you need. You have all the qualities that you think you don’t have! We were all given courage, joy, strength, confidence, worthiness and any other qualities that so many seem to strive towards but never feel they could own.

What if all you have to do is REMEMBER that you DO have everything you need! Maybe those qualities that you have denied yourself have merely been lying dormant and are now yearning to be expressed. We tend to project those powerful qualities onto those who we look up to and respect and forget that we too, can show up equally as powerful.

I had a client recently who was unable to believe that she had the level of confidence that she projected onto me. She had lots of respect for how I show up in the world and she wished that she could do the same. I guided her to a place of knowing that she, too, had just as much confidence as I do, yet she hadn’t been willing to use it and cultivate it in a way that allowed her to manifest her vision.

As we worked together, she began taking actions that allowed her to feel confident. It was a stretch for her, yet on the other end was a whole new level of confidence and joy! She ended up starting her own Reiki practice and living her vision.

So it’s not about trying to “get” something that you don’t have. You have it all now! Merely remember and cultivate through action!

Check out my “Summertime Special” and start remembering who you’ve always been today!

Recently I was asked to speak on this topic so I thought I’d blog about it as well since it seems to come up in so many of my coaching sessions.

Do you ever wonder why you allow others to upset you so much? The answer is in the question! Because you allow it! We love to believe that other people make us angry, resentful, or whatever the toxic feeling may be, but the truth is that NO ONE can do that to you! You have power over how you interpret a situation, conversation or circumstance.

Of course, people do things that do not align with our values. You might hear something that triggers a response in you that may leave you feeling hurt, rejected, or defensive, but guess what! You chose that response! You created a story in your head that left you feeling exactly the way you feel. And that’s good news because you can change your response in a way that will no longer have you affected by anything anyone else does or says.

So you’ve got some work to do if you no longer want to be affected in a way that drains your energy, right?

The first step calls for a new level of self awareness. In order to make a new choice in any situation, you must be present to how you are being affected. Check in with yourself when you begin to feel affected and notice the way you are interpreting the situation. Notice how you are instantaneously giving your power away to another. When we are being affected by someone or something we are being offered an opportunity to shift our energy from the situation and turn it back on ourselves and show up powerfully. But what do we do instead? We defend and blame and turn that negative energy back towards the other only creating a vicious cycle of disconnect and suffering. Sound familiar?

The next step is to take a look to see what you need to do in the situation. Usually when we are affected by another, we are expecting a specific outcome, particularly around something THEY should do. It’s much easier to want someone else to show up different than for us to have to make a new choice, but that’s exactly what’s needed. Either a boundary needs to be put in place or a communication needs to be delivered. Here’s an example:

I worked with a client who consistently was affected by her mother. She resented her mom for continually asking her to drive her around to run errands, and she felt as though she was being used and manipulated by her mom. She became more and more angry and resentful with her mom to where she became disrespectful towards her until it snowballed into a huge confrontation where they both walked away angry. As I coached her, she became aware of how she gave her power over to her mother and how she continued to falsely hope that her mother would stop manipulating her. As I worked with her she began to understand her own behavior and choices and over time she learned how to create and maintain boundaries with her mother. Instead of being at her mother’s beck and call she gave her specific times that she would be willing to take her out. Since then the relationship has shifted for the better, my client is much happier and she feels empowered by the new choices she has made and continues to make.

Awareness and action are the keys to self fulfillment, better relationships and owning your power!

Contact me for a coaching session specifically around this topic! You’ll be glad you did!

My very cool web designer, Michelle Vandepas, tells me to blog, blog, blog….a way to direct traffic to my site. I was never one to be very drawn to writing, so this has been an opportunity for me to stretch myself.

But oftentimes I’m clueless as to what to write about. (Suggestions welcomed, by the way.) I get all goofy and listen to my internal dialogue tell me what I shouldn’t do, which keeps me from doing anything! My mind/ego loves to keep me in my familiar story of stuck-ness. (Is that a word?)

What I do know, however, is that when I’m “riding that hamster wheel” in my head, it’s time to “go inside” to my heart space. Ahhhhh! It feels so good! Did you know that our hearts have 60+ times more electromagnetic energy that our brains???? (Ok, here’s where I need you because I haven’t a clue where my source comes from on that, so if you want to google it and let me know, I’d appreciate it. Besides, what a great way to get someone to comment on my blog!)

So if that’s the case regarding our hearts, imagine how much more wisdom is available to us via our hearts versus our heads! We spend way too much time in our heads, which limits us to no limit! That’s why I get stuck! I heard the judgments, “shoulds,” and self sabotaging garbage that prevents me from speaking from my heart; from speaking what is true for me and sharing my authentic self.

That’s why I/we don’t know what to say sometimes? We’re too afraid to tap into our heart spaces because we might be judged or get some kind of negative reaction. But what if we don’t???? And even if we are judged, (because we will be), wouldn’t it feel good to just say what’s on your HEART and be fully expressed regardless?

Give it a try and let me know what happens!

Enjoy your heart space! Know that the world needs you to express it!

Summertime Special

“Package of Three” Coaching Program

Focus on what most needs to change or improve in your life:

• Session One:  Possibilities and Mindset
• Session Two:  Shift and Embrace the New
• Session Three:  Seeing the Path and Action Plan

Weekly 30 min. sessions

Includes Email Access and Worksheets.

Special Price  $149!

Offer expires 8/15/10

Click here to register:  http://www.debleoni.com/contact

Deborah Leoni, owner of Insight Out LIfe Coaching, is an expert in the field of personal development.  Her clients include entrepreneurs, executives, doctors, clergy, families and people in transition. Deborah uses a unique combination of proven coaching processes, guided meditations and intuitive communication methods, making her programs powerful and life changing.

“TIME OUT”

Saturdays At 9:00 – 10:00 AM Beginning 7/24/10

At Deb Leoni’s Home

I’m offering a space to join together to relax and rejuvenate through guided visualizations, internal processes and meditations that will have you leave feeling calm, centered and motivated to create and maintain a daily self care practice.

Cost:  $50/6 sessions

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Click here to register:  http://www.debleoni.com/contact

It seems that everyone who hires me does so because they want to make a difference in the world.  They are tired of the same mundane routine, of feeling uninspired and stuck, often wondering if their life matters.  Can you identify?  I know I have felt this way at times and that’s why I will always be coached on a regular basis.

Here are 3 steps that will propel you towards making a difference in your own life as well as those you serve:

1.  The first step is to identify what making a difference would look like for you;  Can you envision yourself making a difference?  What might you be doing?  What type of service would you want to commit yourself to that would allow you to feel inspired, passionate and fulfilled?  Let me share Sue’s experience as I coached her towards manifesting her vision and making a difference in hundreds of lives.

Sue’s dream was to support others in creating and maintaining peace in their daily lives.  She wanted to open a yoga studio.   She spent time getting clear as to what she wanted her studio to look like, what kind of clientele she wanted to attract, how much time she would need to commit to, etc.  As she gained clarity around her vision she instantly felt excited and inspired.

2. The second step is to identify specifically what quality you need to develop to manifest your dream of making a difference. Sue knew that in order to open her dream yoga studio she needed to develop the quality of discipline.  She had a pattern of procrastinating, and she knew that not following through with her tasks at hand would never support her in manifesting her vision

3.  What action can you take now that will allow you to cultivate your quality? Sue chose to use a daily calendar, scheduling her tasks by the hour, and also sought out someone to hold her accountable (besides Coach Deb!) so that she could be assured that she followed through with her commitments.  She felt very resistant at first to having to use a calendar and to have this new structure in her daily routine, however, she found that this was her ticket to staying on task and it ended up being a very powerful tool once the studio was opened.  She now has a successful yoga studio where she feels she is making a difference in her clients lives and she has never felt so fulfilled and happy!

So are you ready to make a difference?  If so, click here and I’ll support you on your way!

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford.

One of the first books I read when I began my quest for personal transformation was”The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford.

I read the book and knew in an instant that I wanted to learn more.  The clarity with which Debbie Ford communicates inspired, comforted and fueled me to continue growing and aligning myself with my life purpose.  Never in a million years would I have guessed that because of my involvement with the Ford Institute of Integrative Coaching I would be supporting others in their greatness by becoming a life coach.

Projection and Shadows:

Debbie Ford’s work focuses on the process of projection, whereby we tend to attribute our sense of inferiority onto others.  She demonstrates ways that we can own or embrace our dark qualities so that we can use them in pursuit of wholeness.  She tells us why we keep meeting the same people and circumstances that trigger us over and over again, and she challenges us to accept the God-given gifts which make us unique instead of giving our light away by attributing or projecting them to others such as our heroes or anyone we highly respect.

The Shadow Process:

I highly recommend any of Debbie Fords products.  They are life changing.  Her three-day “Shadow Process” will absolutely change your life in ways that you never would have imagined.  Go find out more about Debbie Ford Shadow Process Coaching program here.

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – Rockefeller

Is that a powerful quote or what? When I read that quote on a friends page (thanks, Laura!) it really made an impact. Actually, it kind of stung. It allowed me to take a look at all the ways I’m settling for mediocrity; settling for ‘good enough,’ and “shoulding” on myself

I tend to settle for ‘good enough’ when I don’t allow my needs to be met. Earlier today it took everything I could to stay on task with my marketing. I had no motivation. I chose to check in with myself to see what I needed and found that I really wanted to get away from my desk and get out in nature. So I did and had I not honored my heart in that moment, I wouldn’t be excited about writing this post! During my time in nature I felt nourished and rejuvenated which left me excited to get back home and write!

What good are you willing to give up to step into greatness? What gets in the way of my greatness are my addictions. I’m talking about my internal addictions; I can be addicted to trying, addicted to scarcity, addicted to having to know, and the list goes on and on. Sound familiar? What if shifting from good to great was to shift all self sabotaging internal dialogue and honor each moment and the wisdom that is available in the present?

I’ve created a great day because I’m honoring each moment, letting go of trying to make this moment anything other than what it is, letting go of feeling as though I’m not doing enough, letting go of having to know what the next moment will bring, and the list goes on and on.

I pray that you make this a great day as well!

If we all agree that we want peace in the world, that means we strive for peace in our country. Peace in our country means peace in our state which means peace in our communities, which means peace in our home. Peace in our home must be birthed from peace in our heart.

Feels a bit overwhelming to me. Where do I begin? What can I possibly do to bring peace to the world, country, state, community, etc? What difference would I make? To who do I offer my time, talents and treasures especially when I may never know what difference I made? What’s the point? Who am I at my best and how am I able to best serve?

Then I remind myself that there are no small actions! What if the one small action I take saves the world? And if that’s true, then what is that small action that I must take today?

The action is one of my heart. Today I’m choosing to shift any self-doubt that comes up to self-trust, from self judgment to self acceptance. If my inner world is a reflection of my outer world, imagine the possibilities for me today! Imagine the possibilities for the world today! My heart is going to be the recipient of my time, talents and treasures today. And as I inhale it all in, the only thing left to do is exhale it back out into the world!

A small action is always better than no action at all whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually!

What are you willing to do today to create and maintain peace? I invite you to share and declare right here because declarations create manifestations!

2. Communication: The meaning of your communication is the results you produce. So to ensure clear and clean communication it’s critical that everyone takes 100% responsibility for the way they communicate. What most gets in the way of effectively communicating is blame. Shifting your statements from “You” to “I” will absolutely create a more effective outcome. For example, instead of saying “You make me angry because you are late again,” to ” I see that you are late and it makes me feel angry” will shift from blame to expressing yourself in a less intrusive way. Try it and let me know how it goes.

3. Caring: Caring is simply an act of kindness with no expectation of anything in return. Successful families are those who give of themselves just because they love each other. When was the last time you showed your affection in a special way to your loved ones? And it doesn’t have to be something dramatic. A hug, an acknowledgment, a special date. You can never show too much caring. Care abundantly and you will receive it back a hundredfold.

Commitment, communication and caring: Start with one this week and see what a difference it makes!